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Parramatta road is the major road that lets people who dwell in the Western Suburbs into the city, so that they can go to the same shops that they go to in the Western suburbs, but in the city, and also so that they can invade pubs in order to find non western sydney people to mate with in order to widen the gene pool, and go to bucks nights and other such things.
Subsequently, it is generally a place where you are guaranteed to be yelled at from a car. Nevermind what you’re wearing, it will generally happen. I verify that these events are real and true. Please enjoy.
I was waiting on Parramatta Road last night with some friends, waiting for a bus to take us to Norton Street(because someone had rung us and alerted us to a sale in JB hi fi that went until midnight), I was sitting down with Kerryn, discussing how when seats are too high, it makes me feel like I am far too small for world(she is taller, as most people are) and a car load of rowdy youths drove past. They turned to look at us and opened their window(the lights had stopped them) and were screeching “OH MY GOD THEY’RE SO CUTE!” it took a few seconds to register what they said, so I(I was holding Kerryn’s deer, John) took John and made him wave his hoof(he likes people generally), and the car load squealed and said “They ARE soooo cute”. It was too funny.
Minutes later another car went past and they yelled out “THE BUS IS ON IT’S WAY”.
It was like alternate Parramatta Road!
In other news, we were eating in a cafe where their amenities were broken, and were told that we needed to go down the road to a pub to use theirs. Having had my wallet stolen and I’m currently waiting to get my bank cards replaced so I can replace my ID, I had no ID, and my hair was in pigtails, taking 10 years off my appearance. So the security guard went to get his supervisor to ask if we could come in. I did a bit of a dunny dance, in the hope of embarrassing him into letting us in, and Kerryn yelled “SHE’S TWENTYFIVE!”. We were allowed in, after being told that we could use their amenities only. Urgh.
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I totally forgot to blog about my newcastle day trip, properly. And now, once more, I will avoid blogging properly, and instead use point form:
Toast enjoys ALL the ladies.
Fenella and Jamie’s FP try their hardest to look Holy in front of the cathederal.
Dora finds it ever so tiresome that tourists keep popping up in her photos. For those who do not keep up to date with the lives of my dolls, Dora is an invalid and is plagued with 210 diseases, including but not limited to club foot, dyptheria and tuberculosis.
Fenella is quite sure that she does not like this ocean thing.
To the left is my dear Daisy May and Jamie’s Catie. They became penpals a few months ago and have remained the best of friends. They are difficult, unrestful souls and are fond of a protest rally. About anything. Daisy May refuses to wear shoes, or dresses(except for birthday celebrations) and is trying to teach Catie methods of resisting shoe wearing.
And finally, all the Blythe dolls at the picnic.
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The purikura we were taking when my wallet was stolen. Thankfully we took two sets before we noticed and day was partially ruined(my day was so fun that even CRIME could not ruin it).
More puri. The second set is dedicated to the fact that when I was lying on the floor, Jeremy randomly poked me, and he says he wasn’t looking and he poked me right on the nipple. I screamed “OH MY IT WAS THE MOST ACTION I’VE HAD IN AGES” and it just got funnier and funnier. Kerryn says I am “so ready for it” in the ’suprise sex’ snap, which is dedicated to Nicky T, for terming the phrase as a nice way of saying “rape”. Thanks Nick.
Check out my birthday party photos, most of them were taken by the lovely Miss Vanessa, who was invaluable in her organisation skills, helping me move the party from the botanic gardens to the Rotundra in Camperdown Park due to bad weather. It was a lot of fun, and it even got quite raunchy at some points. My favourite parts were bubble blowing, fake chocolate cigarettes(Kerryn, you are my hero) and pass the parcel. As well as all the toys we had scattered on our rugs. Other fun activities involved kicking the soccer ball, and then when Tim had gone home(with his soccer ball), and Eric’s wine had been drunk, we kicked the wine bladder around for a while. I am such a natural sportswoman that I got it through the rugby goals right away. The game finished when Leigh jumped on it and it made the loudest noise ever, and it echoed quite spectacularly through the oval and possibly through the blocks of apartments nearby.
ps. Everyone in the world still needs to go on a date with me to Max Brenner’s, as I am still obsessed and wish to get a free box of chocolates. Please to be emailing miss . helen @ gmail dot com to book your appointment.
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I just got a call from my bank telling me that my credit card was used after it vanished. I’m sad because it takes my wallet from being lost to stolen. Some bastard in puri land stole my wallet. Urgh! I should get the money back, but really, it’s rather upsetting.
I’d just like to remind everyone to put a little slip of paper in their wallet with their address and phone number(my friend Daniel just told me you should only have your mobile number in there, so if your keys are stolen, you’re not opening up your house to theives) on it, if you don’t have anything in there with it so if it gets lost, it can be returned to you. I don’t so much miss the money(I had like $20 in there), but my photos and ID and my Max Brenner card. I’m so shallow. This sucks.
I might make like a dirty teenaged boy and chain my wallet to my bag from now on.
Edit: I just made a police report. Did you know there is a non emergency hot line that you can call? Check it out. Since the internet is so over run with americans, it seems weird to not know such things, though they are the sort of thing that you don’t know about until you need to know.
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* Jamiepants made a flickr set of my recent day trip to newcastle. It was so much fun. We had a picnic in the park with Belinka, who turned out to do a zine with a man named Paul and knew some other zine people who I know(despite the fact that I know and like more people these days, it is still super exciting when people I know know other people I know! Whoa, sentence weirdness). Belinka is adorable!! Some are awesome, some are shocking, but that is the beauty of hamming it up combined with digital photography! Bel also took photos.
* Today was my birthday picnic. Rain confused lots of people, but there was a lovely group of lots of the best people who I know. It was cold but we had loads of fun blowing bubbles and eating and smoking fake chocolate cigarettes. You can watch a movie. There are lots of photos, but I’ll upload them later, along with some puri, but I just wanted to thank everyone for coming, because it was the best birthday ever. BEST BIRTHDAY EVER. If you heard anyone yelling this along parramatta road today, it was me. And I’m not sorry, because it was the best birthday ever. Not even loosing my wallet in puriland(yes, for real) could ruin my special day(s). I am currently on day two of my three days of birthday obnoxiousness. I should be well recovered from it by Thursday when I go to see The Chaser this thursday. I’m excited, I’ve never been a tv audience before.
See how tiredness has stolen my post structure? Point form has flown out the window.
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I have been on the booze. It is still very very exciting. Leigh tried to give me booze the other night but I was feeling far too fragile. The booze felt like posion hitting my poor stomach. Tonight there were fumes(I made chocolate martinis) but it was highly enjoyable. I also drank bubbly red wine. Is that what they call champagne?
I think today was the best birthday ever. Alison called me in the morning and played birthday pony by Fugazi and sung along to it, which was adorable and Vanessa called me three times(though she missed me twice), I was very obnoxious in a good way(though I upset my little bro for a couple of hours by acting like a british lad for too long- we hugged and made up) “It’s MY BIRTHDAY!”, I spoke to Wifes on googletalk and then this evening, Kerryn rang and ALL OF CAXTON PLAYED HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. It was amazing. There are 7 members in that band. I liked the tamborine and bass playing best.
I baked chocolate mousse cakes and prepared a giant loaf sandwich for my birthday party picnic(it is part 1 of my birthday party, Paris Hilton style) which will be tomorrow in the botanic gardens. Which I still need to pack for, but alchoholic induced sleepiness is kicking in. Prepare for hangover, spiffy friends.
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Last night was the Golden Easter Egg- the biggest night in Australian Greyhound racing. Vanessa gathered us up a happy little posse, and we did enjoy ourselves. This photo is tops for so many reasons.
1. Fake cigarettes.
2. I am sitting in between my 2 favourite zinesters, and is Miss Helen circa 1995 knew this, she would giggle in much the same way that Miss Helen circa 2006 is in the photo.
3. It has so many of my favourite people in it.
4. The men standing behind.
5. The fact that I can’t remember what I was giggling at.
I’d like to mention that myself, Kane, Tim(who took the photo), Simon and Michelle all won on the dog “Edie Beauchamp” during the big race of the night. Vanessa betted on a long shot, and lost. Which was exciting, because we got to have varied, overly dramatic reactions. We all swore ourselves hoarse during the races. Tops!
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I am soo bad at updating regularly, so this time, in order to catch up, I will re-cap.
* Discovered capsule paradise across the way from Puri land in Capitol Square
* Took top secret Vanessa Berry tribute puri with Fiona for Vanessa’s birthday!
* Knitted vegetable hats for my blythe dolls(the hats are also for sale).
* My first home(My mother’s uterus) was demolished, and Mum is recovering.
* Attended Vanessa’s birthday party and consumed cocktails, thusly getting drunk in pseudo public for the first time ever, at 24 years of age. Tops! There’s a whole bunch of photos
* Went to Kerryn and Jeremy’s nintendo video games party the next day, rather hungover, complete with dark glasses, takeaway coffee cup and fake cigarettes.
* And today, went on an Easter girl date with Fiona to Max Brenner. We also looked at and brought clothes. Because that is what young ladies do, sometimes. Look at the picture! We are two frogs in love! I look the froggiest, though, I think.
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It is a thing of great comic relief, that I carry a lot. I live in the burbs and visit the city a lot, so I like to have at least 2 forms of entertainment at all times. Maybe three if concentration might be lacking.
Here is my list:
* Army jacket w/ felt cupcake on chest.
* Empty plastic bag from supermarket.
* Invitation to a lush party.
* Blythe schedule book.
* Glasses cloth.
* Brown and pink striped fingerless mittens
* Timetable.
* Lush honey soap(brought today- I don’t carry it around as a matter of course).
* wallet.
* Pink cat eye sunglasses
* Rilakkuma capsule. IT is the bear and he is sleeping.
* Blueberry blythe hat(in progress on double pointed needles)
* Little non-apple mp3 player
* Permanent marker, 3 inky pens,
* Multicoloured crayon, lipstick, lipbalm.
* Pillbox, measuring tape, tub of woosh temple balm
* 2 chico jelly babies in a mini snap lock bag
* pink pom pom maker
* Empty packet of this weird japanese candy which is fairy floss(strawberry flavoured) that turns into bubblegum upon chewing.
* Train ticket,
* Lace sample that I’m trying to match
* Mobile phone
I packed quite lightly. My bag is bad twins with Kath. We brought them from Accessorise and they were 50% off! Woohoo! Click on the photo to see details about the badges in my flickr notes.
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* How do people get such high ebay feedbacks? I feel like I am an ebay addict when I buy like three things every 3 months, on a splurge, then feel addicted and subsequently stop. My feedback doesn’t seem to grow since the old ones bump off in time.
* My new pink cat eye sunglasses match my bmx. This makes me so happy. I also brought my bmx a present: a basket for the front. It is white and I am afraid it totally counteracted project ’simultaneously make bmx more sissy AND more butch’ and just made it incredibly sissy. Even without the optional plastic flowers.
* Here is the fan that I got Ni-Hao! to sign a couple of months ago when I saw them play.
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